The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Posted by Coach Jeremy, With 0 Comments, Category: Blog, Career, Change, Clarity, Going with the Flow, Health, Mindfulness, Overcoming Challenges, Staying Positive, Tags: , , , , ,

Do you see the same thing happening to you over and over? The same life circumstances? Not enough money in the bank, unhealthy relationships, the world doesn't give you a break, etc.? You're trying your best, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. You're confused. Why does it keep happening to you, no matter what you do?

Notice the question: Why does IT happen TO you? What if you changed the context: Why do YOU keep happening? The world and our place in it--our reality--is a construct of our own beliefs, our own stories. Sure, things happen outside of yourself, and in that sense there is an objective reality; but the way the events are interpreted is completely subjective. The same thing happens to two different people and each of them takes it a different way--to each it means a totally different thing. To one man, losing his job is just one more brick in the wall, one more reinforced example of the "reality" that the world is against him. To the other man, losing his job means he was meant to go onto something greater, which will lead to more freedom, more wealth, and more happiness. Same circumstance, different interpretation.

If you have a deep story, and we all do, you’re going to find ways, search for ways, even unconsciously create ways to reinforce your story because this is, in part, who you believe you are, and changing that is scary. The story itself has become part of your identity. The good news, however, is that because it is all in your head, you can focus on changing the way you think about the world and your place in it, which you can control with some effort, rather than changing the external reality, much of which you cannot control.

So what limiting stories are you telling yourself? What unwanted realities seem to keep happening over and over? What deep unhealthy identities are you holding onto? Are you willing to change the stories? Are you willing to undergo a shift in your very identity, the way you think about yourself and the world? Because that's what it will take. You must be willing to leave your comfort zone, the comfort of your discomfort, the old stories you identify with. You must be ready to get out of your own way, to stop being your own victim and instead be your own hero.

It’s time to change the story. What's the story you would like to have? Write it down, get it in your mind, make it a mantra. Repeat it to yourself and tell yourself nothing but that new story until it becomes truth. Every time you tell yourself the old story, write that instance down too, bring it to consciousness, and proclaim “It’s not true!” The first step towards change is always awareness of what's happening. But real change happens in the willingness to break old patterns, to implement new ones no matter how unnatural they feel, and to be relentlessly repetitive with this implementation.

You have all the power to create the meaning of your life and of all the circumstances you come across. Your life is the sum total of the stories you tell yourself. It’s time to start creating healthy, optimistic stories and making this life extraordinary!

I don’t need those old, limiting stories anymore.
Those stories aren’t true.
The truth is: The world is full of opportunities, and I am excited to be alive!

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